Also, she has a crush on my boyfriend and so i don’t even have my own place for us to go because she is ALWAYS FUCKING THERE

i have to share a room with a five year old, which means that i have to go to bed on time or else she tells on me, and she keeps trying to shut the door to go to sleep and leaves her toys all over the place. and i am a seventeen year old girl and stuffed unicorns and princess barbies do NOT belong in my room filled with carefully selected antiques and vintage decor and a very specific color scheme„,and I SLEEP WITH MY DOOR OPEN YOU LITTLE BRAT!

// The countdown continues .. //

khaislife:

BUT NOT FOR LONG.

you know you’ve found a winner when he’d rather play with your cat than pressure you into doing things. Actually sometimes i think he enjoys seeing Nala more than he enjoys seeing me…

milajewnis:

but actually plaid button up shirts with the sleeves rolled to the elbows are universally attractive 

(via thesocialnatwork)

pockytardis:

my favorite thing is when someone’s in the shower and you just hear a distant BANG BANG BANG CRASH and you can tell they knocked over like all of the shampoo bottles

(Source: castiali, via the-nightly-disease)

shannananan:

mercimonamie:

i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.

oh my god you managed to one up john green.

(via the-nightly-disease)

aguamentis:

gargoylesarecool:

ectoghostologist:

i love being tight with teachers because you get to hear them talk shit about other teachers its so funny they all act like highschoolers except they get paid 

They talk shit about other students if they like you enough too.

did you mean band directors

(Source: johncest, via the-nightly-disease)

wild-lion:

I think it’s funny that people who treat you like shit get offended when you finally do the same to them

(Source: bl-eehh, via the-nightly-disease)

psilentasincjelli:

If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet

(via spencerspocketcondom)